Is there a code to attracting happy personal and business relationships with others as well as attracting happiness from within? According to Michael Rooni (Juris Doctor, attorney-mediator and communication coach), there is a code and everyone can learn it. It includes the word “attractive” but not what you would expect. When we think of “attractive”, we typically think in terms of attractive bodies, faces, homes, offices, cars, paintings, jewelry, clothes, etc. Globally, we spend trillions of dollars every year and substantial and precious periods of our lives in our pursuit of these things. However, Michael Rooni, in the new book ATTRACTIVE COMMUNICATION (Publish International, 2012) invites each and every person in this world to also consider having the most attractive communication possible. Rooni writes: “One of the fastest and most powerful ways to elevate the attractiveness of our lives is to elevate the attractiveness of our communications… Attractive communications attract rewarding business relationships. Attractive communications attract great personal relationships. Attractive communications attract friendly and cooperative resolutions of disputes. Attractive self-talk communications attract inner peace, resilience, confidence, enthusiasm, and happiness.”
ATTRACTIVE COMMUNICATION has 62 clear, practical, and “to-the-point” chapters. Each of these 62 chapters includes not only an interesting discussion of one element of attractive communication but also a specific Action Plan to implement it. Rooni invites readers to regard ATTRACTIVE COMMUNICATION as a toolbox with 300 ways or tools to make communication more attractive. Of the 300 ways or tools, 100 relate to Interpersonal Communication; 12 relate to Non-Verbal Communication; 32 relate to Communication Timing and Surroundings; 32 relate to Listening; 87 relate to Persuasion and Dispute Resolution; and last but not least, 37 relate to Intrapersonal Communication.
A very small and brief sampling of the information in ATTRACTIVE COMMUNICATION includes:
• “Personal Software”: Just as computer software runs the operations of a computer, every one of us has customized “personal software” that runs our decisions in life. By genuinely connecting to the personal software of others, we elevate our communicative attractiveness. To determine a person’s personal software, we can start by asking about his or her interests, experiences, feelings, preferences, ideals, and goals.
• “Communicative Gifting”: Communicative gifting is the act of genuinely communicating something that will be perceived as thoughtful or valuable—without demanding anything in return. However, when people get gifts, they very often give gifts in return. The more communicative gifts we give, the more gifts we will receive in return, and the more rewarding our interactions become—both socially and in business. Information gifting, recommendation gifting, and care gifting are a few of the intangible communicative gifts that attract positive responses.
• “No multitasking”: Multitasking is one of the most predominant habits to come out of our modern times. However, in the field of communication, multitasking is incredibly unattractive and detrimental. When we engage in communicative multitasking, we generally convey underlying unattractive messages of lack of respect, disinterest, or unimportance.
• “Image/Ego Facilitation”: When people with huge egos tell us “NO”, we can attractively open up the discussion again by providing fresh facts, offering acknowledgments, offering alternatives, communicating empathy and understanding, and communicating diplomatically without boasting or bragging.
• “Inner Resilience Messaging”: When dealing with a difficult time in our lives, we should communicate with ourselves with resilience. Resilience messaging allows us to look forward rather than backward, to be progressive rather than regressive, and to focus on solutions rather than problems. Words that refer to problems should be replaced by words that refer to solutions. Words that refer to hardships should be reframed as valuable lessons to learn from. Words that refer to the history of our pain should be replaced with words referring to the promise of the future.
A sampling of other interesting topics discussed in ATTRACTIVE COMMUNICATION includes:
“Communication Type Congruence”; “Beneficial Ambition”; “Attractive Questioning”; “Attractive Feedback”; “Intact Communication Bridges”; “Good Moods”; “Brevity”; “Verbal, Non-Verbal, and Mode Matching”; “Attracted Listening”; “Listening Manifestations”; “Participatory Listening”; “No-Solution Listening”; “Visual Image”; “Value Communication”; “Comparisons and Confirmations”; “Declining Communication”; “Complaint Modification”; “Attractive Response”; “Commonality”; “Mutual Fairness”; “Switching Shoes”; “Promise Requesting”; “Interim Solutions”; “Inner Keys”; “Attractive Imagination”; “Inner Gratitude Messaging”; and much more.
After learning how to communicate attractively, we can do so without cost for the rest of our lives—instead of paying for it, we get paid by it!
About the Author: After receiving his business degree in 1990, Michael Rooni went to law school for formal education and training in law and mediation. As part of his education and training, he focused on the clinical and practical applications of communication and dispute resolution. He enrolled in multiple clinical programs and in 1992 began helping real people resolve real conflicts using mediation and communication skills. He earned his doctorate in jurisprudence in 1993 and has been a member of the State Bar of California since 1994. He is an appointee to the Los Angeles Superior Court Voluntary Settlement Conference Panel. Mr. Rooni has helped resolve very complex and contentious personal, business, and legal conflicts using litigation, mediation, and communication methods. Currently, he mediates high-conflict disputes and trains corporate employees, business owners, couples, and individuals in the fields of communication and dispute resolution. He has participated in, observed, and studied thousands of communications in his search for the most attractive and effective communication and dispute resolution methods. Mr. Rooni is a sought-after, high-impact speaker, practitioner, and consultant in the areas of communicative effectiveness and dispute resolution.
Michael Rooni, Juris Doctor
Publish International, LLC
ISBN 978-0-9857821-7-7, 6X9 Hardcover